Creating connections with Adoption Choices families


In November, 2006, our then 6 year old son, JJ, flew down to Florida with his Grandfather to meet up with us after we had taken guardianship of our newly born boy/girl twins. Little did he understand that his life had just changed forever as he knew it, as the only child who got 100% of our attention. Now, the focus would be divided, yet we didn’t have to explain to him that these newborns would get most of our attention for obvious reasons.

Adrienne and I could not have asked for a more wonderful early “Chanukah gift” that year. Of course, we consider all three of our children, the ultimate “gifts from God,” regardless how they came to us. However, I’m speaking about how JJ immediately fell in love with the twins himself. From the moment he met his new brother and sister that day in November, he never displayed any act of resentment, jealousy, or anger, as we understand how some children do react negatively when their “only child” existence is taken away. We certainly believe that his age of 6 was the right age to introduce siblings. Perhaps it could’ve taken a different turn had JJ been younger.

Fast forward to the present. JJ, Bruiser and Princess are ages 10 ½ , and 4, respectively.
JJ’s relationships with his brother and sister are everything you’d expect from siblings at these ages. “Love/hate” comes to mind at best describing the superficial exterior layer between them because of the constant bickering, rough-housing, and so-called rage that bubbles up from time to time. But aren’t sibling relationships typical of this at these young ages anywhere, in any household? We know deep down inside, all three children love each other dearly. Three different personalities, three different children, brought together under one roof, sharing the common bond of what is fostered in our home; love, respect, and acknowledgement of each child’s individuality.

Comments on: "SIBLING “ARRIVALRY”" (2)

  1. Our twins hardly “rivaled” at all when we first adopted them. They were both so busy taking care of each other. But then when they got comfortable and trusted US, the bickering started. And I say to them sometimes (in jest) “Oh, but you guys used to like each other, and that was so nice!” And they do. It’s just healthier now because they’re not parentified.

  2. mydaughtersmom said:


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