Creating connections with Adoption Choices families

Supernanny 911!

It looks so easy on TV!  How come when Supernanny enters a home, she immediately gets respect and results?  It seems somewhat real but can it be that easy? 

Maybe those parents just aren’t in control of their kids.  Those parents just don’t get the basic principles behind raising children.  Those parents let their kids act like barbarians.  They don’t say no with conviction.  They are letting their kids walk all over them.  They let their tweens set the rules of the house.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?   WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? 

We follow Supernanny’s instructions………..…..sort of.

We are consistent……………………………….…….…most of the time.  

We hold our ground………..…………………………..usually.

We say NO firmly and with conviction…………..typically.

We remember to praise good behavior………….more often than not.

We follow through with consequences ……….…sometimes.

We take a tone of authority……………………….….at least we think we do.

We demand the respect that we deserve……….occasionally.

SO WHAT ARE WE DOING WRONG?

As you may have predicted, we know exactly what we are doing wrong!  But how do we stop.  We do try to be strong, firm, and demand respect but we get worn down.  How many times can we put Bruiser on the step for a timeout when he gets up the second we turn our backs?  We have spent upwards of an hour with the back and forth between the step and wherever he chooses to go.    Oh…but then Bruiser’s twin, Princess, she has her own little method of removing parental power.  She will go to the step……and make the best of it.  She doesn’t consider it punishment.  She will sit and sing a song and basically defy all logical consequences inherent in the “dreaded” timeout.  Then, there is the big brother.  JJ too has his own little twist to the timeout, he develops some sort of hypochondriacal response to the timeout.  First it is the moan, then the flailing hands due to the pain, then the ice that he needs to sooth his aching head…..eventually he will make it to the step but not before the academy award winning performance of “Why Does Everyone Hate Me?”

What are we doing wrong?  Basically, a little bit of everything.  We know where to make changes.  We try to adjust our behavior but haven’t been too successful.  I guess that our only option is to bank on the old parent adage, “this stage too will pass.”

 —————————————————————————————————

Adrienne is a recently unemployed (correction-not so recent) mom of a pre-teen son (JJ) who has aspirations of owning a sports company, a set of boy/girl toddler twins—one (Bruiser) with a compulsion to build and hoard, and the other (Princess) a diva in training, a Havanese (cute, fluffy dog) velcro-ed  to my ankle and a wonderful husband, David, who keeps the family happy and wife sane!

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Comments on: "Supernanny 911!" (2)

  1. Twinmomplusone said:

    Yes often the expectations that we hold dear to our hearts couldn’t be further off the kid’s radar.

    On the positive note, my son (Bruiser) has mellowed out…..very few tantrums. Change happened about 2 weeks ago. It is amazing.

    But the other two……..still up to their own antics.

    Enjoy your weekend.

  2. freshiesmom said:

    It’s so difficult to maintain control over our lifes, our homes and our loved ones (i.e. children). Sometimes, if I give it more thought, I will determine that my standards are too high and rules too excessive. I am trying to be more flexible (difficult as it may be). I have a great kid who is a good student, responsible (most of the time), affectionate, and respectful of others (if not always her parents). Does it really matter if she makes her bed when she gets up in the morning or when she returns from school? As parents, we need to better define our priorities and make sure we (and our kids) clearly understand them. Sometimes I find myself getting worked up over an expectation or rule that, when I give it more thought, I realize is ridiculous. Sometimes we set ourselves up for failure with crazy expectations and inflexibility. Of course, there are the rare times that our kids are just moody and difficult!!

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