Creating connections with Adoption Choices families

Last month, my twin’s birth dad had requested new pictures.  We hadn’t heard from him in four years.  Last month in my blog post, I shared my thoughts about his request and the questions that were flooding my mind.

His request had raised a mix of feelings:

fear of whether he was regretting his choice to place the twins

happy that he was interested and wanted to know about what and how the twins were doing

reassurance to know that when the twins get older and their questions start to center around their birth parents, I will be able to tell them that their birth dad cared and wanted to know what was going on it their lives.

But in the end, it was the reassurance and happiness that led the way and trumped the fear.

To our surprise, Mike (birth dad), without being asked, forwarded a picture of himself with my son and daughters’ birth mom and a photo of him at work to show that he has been focused on getting his life on track.  I had wanted to ask him for pictures but was very hesitant…..scared that it would make him think that we may want a close relationship with him and his family.

When Princess and Bruiser came home from camp, we shared the pictures from Mike.  While sharing the pictures, my husband asked each of them who they thought they looked like. Princess quickly responded….”like my birth mom.”  She couldn’t be more right…..tall, skinny, blonde, blue eyes….a far cry from me…. short, chubby, brunette, with brown eyes.  However, Bruiser had a very different answer.  He confidently answered, “Daddy, I look just like you.”  With that said, Bruiser has a football player’s physique, blue-green eyes, and brown hair, while my husband is on the shorter side, blue eyes and blonde hair.

Well, when we walk down the street, we are often told how the twins look just like us.  We hear this, we smile and say, “Yes they do.”


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