THE CALL: “Hello A.., this is Lauren from school” said the somewhat serious voice on the other end of the phone. “Yes,” I reluctantly responded knowing that nothing good can come of a mid-day call from pre-school. Either someone was sick, got hurt or got in big trouble at school……..my gut tells me that it is the latter. Well, my intuition was right………for the third week in a row, Bruiser has had a difficult week at school.
THE SITUATION: Maybe ” difficult” isn’t a strong enough word……….he has been disrespectful to his friends, teachers, and parents, has been throwing all out temper tantrums, using hateful words, kicking things etc.. He has been put on a “behavioral chart plan” at school which we have been using at home, as well, for consistency. But for how long will getting stickers on a chart be enough incentive to behave appropriately. Turns out that 4 out of the 11 kids in the class are on some sort of behavior modification program….so at least we are not alone.
What should we do? Been reading, Try and Make Meby Ray Levy. Ph.D. andBill O’Hanlon, M.S. L.M.F.T, next will go through an e-book called Say What You See by Sandra Blackard, a friend recommended and saw quite a few fabulous success stories fromHow to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. And in the event that I can’t remedy the situation through these sources, I scheduled an appointment to speak with a child behavior specialist.
THE THOUGHT PROCESS: Part of me feels good that he is able to calm himself down, part of me is happy that he loses his temper for less than 15 minutes at a time and no more than a few times a day…….the other part of me is frustrated that he loses his temper so often, that he, at 5 yrs old, isn’t able to calm himself down without some type of intervention, and that he doesn’t respect adults. I just don’t get it. We are a fairly mellow family—not much yelling, not a stressful environment…..our day to day life is filled with warmth, love and harmony (most of the time) interspersed with Bruisers’ tantrums. In between the tantrums………he is an absolute sweetheart. We will get to the bottom of this! I know we will.
THE SOLUTION: We know that with time our family will figure this out. We are committed to finding out the best way to react, coach and validate these feelings that Bruiser is having. I look forward to sharing with you our success story……….just don’t know when that will be, hopefully sooner than later.